Mariah Carey is a Whackadoo!!! She Gives US Weekly An Interview for Their Series "25 Things You Dont Know About Me"

Okay, I have read some cray cray stories b4, but this one has got to take the cake!!! Mariah Carey gave US Weekly an interview for their series on "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" And it was so full of shit I cannot believe that anyone would believe any of it. The Yahoo article only listed the top 5 things so if you want the other 20, you'll have to check out US Weekly. However, here are the top 5: 5. “I’m a very good laundress, when I have to be.”

Ok but like, when does she ever have to do her own laundry? Also “laundress,” Mariah? What year is this?

4. “I swim in evening gowns and heels.”
I want this to be real, I really do, but we’ve all seen the pictures of you gallivanting on a yacht with your new boyfriend and you are wearing a bikini! (Excuse me, but I thought Mariah was black? Black people do not swim and we certainly don't go swimming in heels and an evening gown. Hello? That's too much water to drink, right? LOL Maybe she's planning on drowning and looking amazing while doing it? Mariah are you suicidal gurl?)

3. “I hate mascara. I never wear it. Whenever a makeup artist tries to put it on me, I throw a fit.”
Make-up artist, beware! She will not have you putting a stick near her eyeball!

2. “Time is irrelevant to me. I never wear a watch.”
This. This is the actual epitome of luxury. Mariah doesn’t need to wear a watch because the world revolves around Mariah. What’s gonna happen? Are they going to start her show before she gets there? No. She arrives and things start happening. We can only dream of having this much power ever. 

But the single BEST thing we learned about Mariah?

1. “I do not observe birthdays. I do, however, celebrate the anniversary of my birth [March 27] every day at 3:27 A.M., P.M., E.S.T., P.S.T., and S.T.!”
Time is irrelevant for Mariah so she will celebrate her birthday any damn time she pleases! She will not be tied down to your calendar and your Hallmark-conspiracies! 4 times a day, it’s her birthday and she will drink champagne and throw glitter in the air if she damn well pleases.  (Time is irrelevant to people who are too stupid to understand it. LOL)